Cuddly wuddly puddly

On a roll here…
Joke of the day: Why wouldn’t the man bet $50 that he could reach the meat on the top shelf?
The steaks were too high.

On my run this morning I saw about 10 London police offers on horseback all in a row, each trotting next to and holding the reins of another rider-less horse. I smiled a huge, shit-eating grin because who doesn’t love to see 20 pretty horsies? But then they trotted on past me and I was hit with a WALL of god-awful horse stink. And that pretty much ruined it for me.

Also on my run I saw something on the ground that I didn’t think could exist in this world – a half-eaten Snickers bar. Really? Is one whole Snickers bar too much for someone out there? Can they not handle all that nougat in one sitting? What has this world come to?!

I’m not sure how I manage it, but I somehow have the ability to stumble upon crazy things. Case in point – yesterday I was taking the bus back to my apartment and we drove right past the Olympic torch relay. I mean, I couldn’t have timed it better had I tried. No, I wasn’t wearing a Free Tibet sash or t-shirt. And no, I didn’t try to put out the flame with a fire extinguisher. But the torch WAS rather small and anti-climatic. There were hordes of people lined up with their cameras poised to take the perfect shot as the 10 Chinese men in blue track suits ran by, encircling a Sugababes singer who, for some reason, was chosen as the most appropriate person to run with the torch. But you know…I’m sure those people will show their friends and family the pictures they took and will be met with a lot of “Where’s the torch? Is THAT it? I can’t even see it! It looks like a cotton candy stick!” In any case, I thought seeing all the protesters was by far a more interesting sight.

Even FURTHER proof…
I check another website where this guy posts quotes overheard on the Tube. He heard this one last week:
“Could someone please explain Mariah Carey to me? I just don’t get it.”
(I know, I know. I’m beating a dead horse…I’ll stop. But promise me you get what I’m saying here, okay? Okay.)

Breaking news – it’s spelled ‘diarrhoea’ in this country. (I didn’t find this out the way you THINK I found this out.)

Today I read the phrase ‘helping my grandmother shell peas in her living room with her hair curlers watching The Price is Right’ and it was the most glorious image I’ve had in my head in a long time.

*music – somebody told me you had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend I had in February of last year