Okay, so this first picture IS kinda scenic London, but it's only to show that I would NEVER cox on the Thames no matter how much money you paid me. This river has a life of its own - a life filled with club drugs, unprotected sex in a Burger King bathroom, back alley murders, and a lifelong NAMBLA membership - a dangerous, dangerous being.
(This is the view from outside our new building.)
Hitchhiker #1: Dude, no one is gonna pick us up with these huge corn stalks on our backs.
Hitchhiker #2: Why do you got to be so negative about shit, man? This is our corn! What are we gonna do, just leave it here?
Hitchhiker #1: All I'm saying is that it makes us look sketchy.
Hitchhiker #2: I don't care. I traded all our clothes for these lifesize corn stalks and I'm NOT leaving them!
Hitchhiker #1: Fine! Bastard. But can you at least not walk so close to me? You're really starting to freak me out.
Bodybuilder: Excuse me, but maybe you should check out my bicep.
Judge: Of course. Let me just get naked first.
Bodybuilder: Wait, wait, wait. Don't look at my right one, that's my bad side. Check out my LEFT bicep. You see the rippling muscles? That's 30 hours a week at Gold's Gym right there, baby.
ManWoman: Oh, Mr. Peanut!!! I didn't think you'd be so heavy! If only I hadn't lost my lower legs in that rollerblading accident I'd be able to lift you high for all the world to see your nutty goodness! Oooh, hey! Is that your monacle or are you just happy to see me?
Master Snake: Bring me that coconut tree, bitch!
Bitch: Mr. Master Snake, this is the fifth coconut tree I've brought you in the past three hours.
Master Snake: Did I say you could talk? Little Snake, did I say he could talk?
Little Snake: No Master Snake, you didn't.
Master Snake: That's what I thought. Now stay naked, keep quiet, and hustle with my damn tree already!
Bitch: I can't feel my legs.
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