Where Bear?!

I'm not sure why, but I am always 8 years behind the rest of the world in appreciating television series starring Ricky Gervais (the guy who created and starred in the BBC version of The Office). Today I am here to recommend Extras, the show that stars Ricky and another woman as actors who try to make it big. For those of you who might not like Ricky Gervais because of his ability to make the viewer cringe with every racist, sexist, and homophobic remark he says, this show will be better. Granted, it won't be any less painful to watch seeing as how there are still horrifyingly embarrassing scenes, but at least it's not his character causing most of them. In any case, I highly HIGHLY recommend it, especially the episodes with Patrick Stewart and Kate Winslet.

For the first time ever, in person at least, I saw a pregnant woman smoking a cigarette. I didn't have the balls to smack the fag out of her hand, but boy oh boy did I want to.

Here is installment #2 of sculpture conversations...

No! No please! Don't make me cover up BOTH of my boobs with this simple cotton sheet! Can't I please just leave one hanging free? Why do you always have to tower over me like this and threaten me with modest clothing? Oh hey wait a minute, what's this reminder rope around my wrist? Shit, I remember. I was supposed to change the kitty litter this morning.

Ah yes, my golden shoe. I think it accentuates my bulging calf muscle, don't you? I polish it every morning for 4 and a half minutes. No more, no less. You may ask why I don't polish the left one as well. I shall tell you, my son. I just don't feel the magic in it the way I do with Right Golden Shoe.
A la peanut butter sandwiches! And poof! I am immediately topless holding four pepper and onion calzones! Umm, wait a minute…excuse me? Can I talk to the director for a second? Yeah, hi. I just have a couple issues here. First of all, I'm going to need a pair of good high heels because standing on my tippy toes just isn't cutting it anymore. And second of all, this angel-wing sash? Yeah, it keeps slipping down my waist…can one of the prop guys get me some Velcro or something?
Bitch, hold up. Did you just say Whitney and CLYDE? Oh no she didn't just say that. Tina, did you hear what this girl just said? She said Whitney and Clyde done up and went behind MY back. Bitch, you best talk to the hand because I can't even look at your face right now.

Oh thank you thank you angel of heaven! You came and saved me just in time before the lions attacked and tore my limbs off one by one! Not to sound ungrateful though, but you wanna watch where you're putting your left hand? Just because you saved my life doesn't entitle you to a cheap feel, you know. Thanks. Appreciate it.