Gayer than a tree full of bluebirds

If you decide to come visit me in London, make sure to tell me that your plane arrives 30 minutes before it actually does. This will give me ample time to get on the wrong bus to Paddington Station, get off in a sketchy neighborhood, walk three blocks to a bus stop in the middle of nowhere and catch a bus back to where I started from. It will also ensure that you don’t shell out $2 to use the public toilet and make it safely back to my apartment without having your bladder explode. You know, just an fyi.

The only celebrities that exist to the British media are: Prince Harry, Kate Middleton, Kate Moss, Pete Doherty, Amy Winehouse, and Lily Allen. If you aren’t one of those 6 people, your face will not be pictured in the daily news. It’s just a matter of fact.

Another life fyi for you (you can all thank me later for these bits of wisdom): If you finally suck it up and buy chives to put in your egg salad even though you will have no use for the leftover chives once you’ve used one sixth of what you’ve purchased, for heaven’s sake! Don’t forget to put the chives in the egg salad!
(Is anyone else reminded of Pee Wee Herman whenever they make egg salad or see a row of scooters/motorcycles all lined up on the street? No? Just me? Okay.)

By far, the most resonating consequence of the London subway bombings is the fact that you have to walk at least a mile in this city to find a trashcan. Seriously. They are just nowhere to be found.

Joke o’ the day: Why haven’t you heard the joke about the bed?
It hasn’t been made up yet.

Tonight after eating delicious bowls of hummus goodness, Theresa and I went to see Agatha Christie’s Mousetrap. This is the longest running play in either London or the world, depending on how closely you read the flyer; tonight was performance #23,071. I’m a big fan of Ms Christie and I remember reading Ten Little Indians and deciding it was the greatest book ever (not that I can remember the end or anything vital like that, but still…it was good). Despite loving her books, the play tonight was just so-so. I don’t know if it was because I did the fishing/bobbing thing with my head as I almost nodded off countless times or just that it was a little slow going, but I give the play an overall B-.
But it’s unarguably a London staple and so I am glad I finally saw it and can cross it off my list of Things I Have To Do In London, right after Pick The Guards’ Noses At Buckingham Palace and Find Hugh Grant And Make Him Love Me.

Microsoft Word agrees that both ‘inarguably’ and ‘unarguably’ are words but can offer no synonyms for them, leaving me without an answer as to which, if either, is the right word to use. I apologize for this technical difficulty.