Tolerant and even welcoming of lactose

I’m trying to be a more positive person. The whole ‘say Yes more thing’ and an eye-opening email suggesting I try to talk my way through a misunderstanding instead of just sighing heavily and doing an obnoxious eye roll are just two changes I’m trying to make that show me I could use more than a slight nudge towards Let’s Be Awesome About Life and away from Let’s Make Snide, Sarcastic Comments About Things That Piss Me Off.

Having said that, this morning I came across a hilarious blog called 1000 Tiny Things I Hate. I highly recommend watching the video in post #101, or The Way The Man Who Sat Next To Me On The Train Last Night Ate His Peanuts. It’s even funnier than it sounds. Seriously, check this site out. I know I suggest a lot of things…books, movies, MUSIC…but this one is pretty damn funny. And plus, I know you don’t really need to check CNN.com for the 8th time today. Nothing has changed.

My co-worker BT sends me a link to some random online game pretty much every day. I’m not really sure how he finds them (his answer is always simply ‘RSS Feed’), and so far his success rate in me clicking on the link, giving more than 3 seconds of my attention to it, actually playing the game, and liking it enough to play it more than once is about 3 in 437. (He actually sent me a couple awesome typing games which appeal to the nerd in me and so I must thank him for that.) But the other day he sent me a link to a game whose objective was…. “Protect the castle from invasion by not allowing evil tiles to spread to it.” Evil tiles, BT. Evil tiles.

I know a lot of you have heard about my feelings behind the lobby security guards at the office in Boston. In fact, I wrote a little blurb about them and won some free milkshakes for my team (the point of the contest was to explain why my office deserved to win the shakes and I claimed security guard harassment entitled us to them). But let me tell you that the security guards in London have those Yankees beat by a long shot. Sure, we have those same turnstiles you have to swipe your card at in order to get through. And sure, we have the same sign-in book for Guests, Clients, and People Pretending To Be A Guest Or Client So They Can Enter The Building And Secretly Use Our Coffee Machine. But the actual security men...oh boy. Before you can even think about swiping your ID card, you have to first show it to them so they can see that yep, it’s your picture on there and yep, it’s my company's badge. Not that this isn’t enough craziness on its own, after all, it’s no small feat to gain building access on an ID card since it takes at least three weeks for an actual employee to get it. But the security guards, all three of them on a rotating schedule, act as though THEY HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE IN THEIR LIVES. I feel like I know their eating habits, the way they tie their shoes, and the names of their children, but they don’t recognize my face every morning? There was one day that one of them was logging someone into the guest book and I stupidly assumed I could just walk by without assuring them I wasn’t an employee from a different company in disguise. Oh he let me have it all right; he all but punched me in the face to prevent me from going through those turnstiles. And it’s not just a day-to-day thing, either. I’ll enter the building in the morning, smile, show them my chipmunk cheek-faced ID picture, go out for lunch later in the day, and when I come back am met with quizzing looks as if to say, “And who are you? Do you work for our company? I’m going to need to see some ID before I can let you in this building, Missy.”

How did I do on staying positive?

*music – Hey there I said it “I’m in love with you,” There’s an ocean between us just like me deep and blue, And I at times have had nothing, But tonight I want nothing but you