I am an unhealthy (i.e. unattractive) shade of pale

Saturday afternoon I was surrounded by about 10,000 large, bald, drunk, enthusiastic men. I’m sure there are many places you’re thinking I was, not limited to - the Independence Mall in Kingston, a Wolk family reunion, the International Burping Competition (oh MAN, what if that were an actual thing?!), and a Rammstein concert. Unfortunately you would be wrong on all accounts, for my friends, I was in Cardiff, Wales. Little did my tour guide know that there would be some massive rugby competition taking place at the stadium downtown. And I’m not just talking one team versus another; something was going down with ALL the Rugby League teams since faces were painted every color of the rainbow (not in an actual rainbow…that’s a different gathering).

Our Cardiff tour guide was literally a Welshman we picked up on the side of the road. Granted, we planned to meet him there, but still. Side of the road. That pretty much sums up his eccentric personality. His name is Alun Booth and he talked for about 20 minutes explaining the in and outs of the Welsh alphabet and how the ‘u’ is pronounced like an ‘i’ so his name still sounds like “Alan.” (At one point he also said “It’s take-your-clothes-off weather.” This would have been okay had it not been said by a 70 year old man.)

Right. So Cardiff. There’s a castle. There’s a pedestrian mall with a KFC, Starbucks, Next, and Quiksilver store. There’s one of those mini merry-go-rounds with a child sitting on a double decker bus looking more nauseous than jovial. Most of the teenagers wear makeup (both male and female) and black clothing. It rains. There are dragons everywhere. And the signs are all in Welsh and English. Oh, and the tuna pasta salad they sell at the grocery store? Its onions are way too potent.

I would write more about what I saw in this other UK country, but eh. It wasn’t all that exciting in person and so to make it exciting just by using words would be like trying to describe how amazing all my camera, phone, and computer cords look on my desk.