I won’t be doing it barefoot, dressed as a chicken, or in a wheelchair

Well, here it is. A confession blog of sorts. One that I have put off sending until now for reasons I will explain in a minute. I, Lisa Wolk, will run the Philadelphia Marathon on November 23 this year. That’s right. The person who, in high school, used to fake being sick every time we had to run the mile will attempt to run 26.2 of them.

I’ve been training for 3 months now and wanted to make sure that I wasn’t going to cry, break down, and/or die in my pursuit of finishing the race before I told you all. This past weekend I ran 13 miles and only felt like stabbing my eyeballs out to end my pain once or twice, so I think I’ll probably be able to manage a race twice as long. And while I already sent in my registration fee, I’d be more apt to forfeit the monetary cost rather than forfeit my dignity and admit to everyone that “Oh hey, remember when I told you I was going to run that marathon? Yeah, I’m giving up.”

So now it is your job to keep me from being a wimp. If I ever decide to opt out of the race, I give you permission to find me, threaten to take your love away, and box my ears. (Not too hard, though, I’m weak.)

I’m really excited about running, though. I feel like Running A Marathon is on everyone’s Things To Do In Life List and I know I will feel great when I check that one off. Even Jon Gezotis said it was an incredible feeling having finished one, and this is the guy who ran up to us spectators at mile 23, grabbed the Gatorade out of my hand, and blurted, “I’m fuckin’ done” in exhaustion. As for the venue, I know Philadelphia isn’t the most beautiful city in the world, but a) I fear Boston would be a little too challenging for a beginner like myself b) as a Bostoner, I couldn’t live with myself if I made New York my first marathon and c) Chicago registration was filled by the time I got my act together.

So if you’re in the Philly area around Sunday November 23, come on out with your orange slices, Gu gel, and signs saying “Lisa is the most awesome runner ever.” I will be forever indebted to you and will try my hardest not to get sweat on you as I excitedly wave in your direction.