Man versus Woman

This is long overdue.  I was assigned this review about a month ago, did the grunt work right away, and then procrastinated due to reading, a cruise, and the Red Sox.  In any case, I'm doing it now and that's what counts.

The following scenario is true 99% of the time:  Ask a man if he likes the movie The Big Lebowski and he will emphatically say yes.  Ask a woman if she likes it and she will emphatically say no.

I first saw this movie maybe 6 months after it came out and I remember not liking it, in true female fashion. But I kept wondering why there's such a gender chasm in its followers and I decided to watch it again to see if I'm still on the girl side of things.  Theresa gave me the assignment of reporting back on my findings.  Here they are.

I am a man.  Wait, let me rephrase.  I'm a woman who sometimes dresses up like a man.  I can confidently say that I liked the movie.  I can also confidently say that I did not love it.  Obviously I liked the colorfulness (it's a word) of the characters. But then, the Coen brothers are known for their original, eccentric characters, so there's no surprise there.  I think I would have been even more bored than I already was with the plot if the bits of humor mixed in and the characters' nuances didn't add to the scenes.

Things that were good:  any scene with John Turturo, the concept of the white russians, the dream sequence (mainly due to the costumes and the music), the soundtrack, John Goodman (!), Philip Seymour Hoffman

Things that were bad:  Tara Reid (this can be said for any movie she's in), not using Steve Buscemi to his potential, the scenes with the "cowboy" talking to the camera at the bowling alley bar, the plotline around Julianne Moore

I guess this movie is a typical Coen brothers movie which means I should have known that I would think it's good artistically but not good entertainingalingly (not a word).  In other words, I can see why people would like it.  But I still can't see why it's split between men and women.  Is it the bowling?  The swearing?  Tara Reid?  And are those the same reasons why women don't like it?

I think I'll stick with watching movies and not reviewing them.  I'm better at the former....

Just saw a dude on a bike wearing ski goggles. It's 60 degrees outside.

Vegan. Passover. Two words that I'm not sure should go together. Not because I don't approve of the vegan lifestyle or the Jews' exodus from Egypt. On the contrary - I'm all for escaping the wrath of evil dictators (lookin' at you, Pharaoh). But when you live your life without meat, cheese, eggs, fish, cheese, dairy, and cheese, also eliminating corn, bread, pasta, and beans seems a little, shall we say, impossible.

Erev Passover I went to my first vegan seder. It was a community seder, so most of us were strangers to each other. While everyone was a character in their own right, there was only one person who bordered on being judged as Really Weird (she brought more than 10 stuffed animals with her and didn't take any of her three shoulder bags off for the duration of the night.) It was a potluck style seder and I brought an unintentionally dense sweet potato/apple kugel and charoset. I expected to see a lot of dishes that were basically a vegetable sauteed in olive oil, but surprisingly most people brought kugel in one form or another. Since it was a lot of carbs, I didn't need to stop and get a steak on the way home like I thought I would.

We talked a lot about the four children and alternate meanings behind their personalities (the simple child, the wise child, the wicked child, and the child who does not know how to ask). While we were eating, our conversation turned to the vegan/vegetarian lifestyle (which, I guess, was to be expected) and I was delighted to find I was not the only carnivore there. I give those guys credit, though (vegans, not carnivores). They have principles, they stick to them (usually), and they endure the wrath of all the meat-eaters out there who not only don't approve of their lifestyle, but are obnoxiously preachy and try to convert them to the flesh-eating side.

ANYway, the seder was fun, the food was tasty, my Mom is happy I went, Jews are no longer building pyramids, I didn't have to sing the four questions, we got to wear masks with the 10 plagues on them (the lice and boils ones were the best), and I will be constipated due to TMMI (Too Much Matzah Intake) for the rest of the week. Next year in Yerushalayim!

Unnecessary tears

I'm sitting on the stationary bike at the gym listening to some yuppy podcast and watching the (soundless) morning news on one of the TVs. A Hallmark card commercial comes on with an extended family sitting around the dinner table. It is the matriarch's birthday and she is opening a card from, seemingly, one of her relatives. You see her read the outside of the card and open it up to reveal the words "Happy Birthday Love, So-and-So." (It didn't actually say So-and-So, but I don't remember the name.) But that's it. That's all it says inside. And yet, she continues to stare at the inside of the card. Close up on her face to reveal that she's on the verge of tears after receiving such an emotional, heartfelt card. And there I am completely bewildered by this. She has spent 6 seconds reading 4 words, is STILL staring at the nearly blank card, and is close to weeping. What the fuck? Is this woman mentally retarded? I think to myself that Hallmark is way overdoing it and no one cares this much about a friggin' birthday card when the words "Hallmark Recordable Greeting Cards" comes on the screen. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, okay. I get it now.

Pardon the Interruption

I went to the gym around 5:30 tonight instead of at 6:00 this morning.  I don't normally like working out in the afternoon because I feel heavier and it just feels strange to exercise after my day is almost done.  Anyway, so I'm there moving my legs back and forth quickly on the elliptical, my feet experiencing this weird burning sensation that I'm not sure a) how it starts or b) how to get rid of it, when I look up at the 7 treadmills in front of me.  And on each treadmill is a 20-something "dude."  And on each tv screen in front of each of the 20-something "dudes" is ESPN.  I felt like I was in some strange robotic, futuristic movie.  Then I thought about the clientele who frequent the gym at 6am.  And it's mostly the female version of these robots.  Granted, TMZ and The Hills aren't on that early in the morning, so they're stuck watching Doug Meehan give helicopter traffic reports, but still.  Same thing.  

Don't get me wrong.  I'm glad that all these people are working out.  I would much rather be surrounded by pretty, skinny people than fatty fat fat fats.  But there's still no denying that I feel like I'm in a machine when I go to that gym.  

I especially thought the "dude" who checked out every girl who walked by or went to the paper towel dispenser was particularly lame.  He wasn't even trying to hide it.  He DID have nice biceps, though.  Dammit, Lisa!