Greasy pizza or insane abs?

Does anyone else think Dave Andelman, CEO of The Phantom Gourmet, looks EXACTLY like The Situation?

Moving Van on the Second Date

I was chatting with an old friend recently about dating co-workers. He himself is currently in what could be described as a fling with a lady co-worker. Now I'm usually one to go overboard. With everything. Anything new in my life and I will dedicate 100% of my attention to it. My friends and family have learned this the hard way, as I've dropped off the face of the Earth to spend every waking moment with a new girlfriend or my MacBook or rock climbing. (I've also recently decided I'm going to quit my job and become a Spanish tomato farmer, but that's another obsessive story.)

Back to my fling-ing friend. He said it was going well and at this point, they both are really enjoying all the time they spend together. I was dumbfounded. How do people work together every day, and in this case on the same team, and not go completely overboard? I didn't understand how he wasn't spending every moment with her at work when he could have been. After all, according to him she's gorgeous, fun, and generally awesome. I guess it's at this point that I should clarify and say that when I do that 100% attention thing, it always backfires; after a certain amount of time (1 week, a month, etc.) I see the error in my ways and purge my newfound obsession. So I asked if he wasn't worried about maybe it being too much too soon and he told me that they have a good balance and don't overdo it. Clearly "don't overdo it" isn't in my vocabulary.

But why is this? Why are some girls out-of-their-mind crazy like this? And why, if I know I'm one of said girls, can't I stop myself from doing it? There's definitely a part of me that looks down and thinks, "Wow. You are insane. If I weren't a part of your conscious, I would totally dump you right now." Guys are different. I know no guys who obsess over a new girl and plan out the next month's evenings with them in mind. Usually it's worse in lesbian relationships; another thing I don't really understand. Are the women who date men less obsessive because they know guys won't put up with crazy and would dump them? Is women's insanity exacerbated by proximity to other women?

I guess I'll just have to take the next 2 weeks to perpetually think about this...

1 Year Closer to Death

Yesterday I turned 29. 29. It's the age that everyone says they are until they suck it up and finally admit that fine, okay, they're really 57. But I don't see what the big deal is about this milestone. Sure it's the last year I'll be able to say I'm in my 20s, but I'm really okay with that. Being a person who fears death and the end of anything from the fall season to summer camp, I started wondering why I'm not freaking out about turning 29. After all, I'm probably over a third of the way through my life.

Maybe I'm not afraid of turning 29 because I still look like I'm 17. I don't have wrinkles. I don't have that mature look that screams "I am not a girl anymore, I'm a woman!" I don't use a pocketbook or wear high heels or makeup. I opt for jeans and t-shirts and put my hair in a ponytail most every day. So how can I fear getting old when I know I won't look it for awhile? Don't get me wrong; I am not asking for your sympathy because I look young. But let's just say that it's tough for me to make "Oh my god I'm going to turn 30 soon!" complaints when I still shop at Gap Kids.

I guess if I were truly a 29 year old woman, right now I'd be curling up on my sofa drinking a giant glass of red wine, watching Grey's Anatomy, planning a night out with my girls at The Bell In Hand, and perusing the pages of Us magazine. Ugh. Thank god I'm just a 29 year old girl instead.

Par Lay Voo Fron Sace?

I am probably the worst packer ever. I can’t take anything less than 2 suitcases for a weekend getaway. Also? I hate the phrase “weekend getaway.” But back to my point. I am leaving for my European vacation, dahlings, this Friday. And so tonight I will be packing everything I need for my journey.

Itinerary – 5 days in Cinque Terre Italy, 10 days hiking the Alps in Italy, France, and Switzerland, 2 days exploring Geneva

Exciting, but still pretty simple, right? I’m one person. One very small person. There is no way I need more than like, 20 pounds worth of travel items. But I guarantee when I start to lay out my belongings, I will have to remind myself that 8 CitySports t-shirts are overkill, while I think I’m gonna need my running sneakers there’s just no way it’s happening, and that no, I don’t need to bring all those Clifbars – I’ll just buy baguettes and cheese when I’m there.

I’m deathly afraid of forgetting something crucial, though. Let’s clarify for a moment. I’m not deathly afraid; there’s a 0% chance I will die at the thought of forgetting my toothbrush. But I’m still nervous about it. I am sure that somewhere over the Atlantic I will stop watching The Bucket List on the video screen in front of me and realize my pajamas are sitting on my desk.

I was thinking that maybe I would take some fancy pants clothes with me to wear out at night when I’m in Italy. Because isn’t that what people do in Italy? They put on their Axe body spray or Chanel No. 18 and hit the town, right? The last time I went out at night in Italy, Susan and I drank flutes of limoncello and then promptly decided we would never ever be drinking limoncello again, in flutes or not. Long story short, I’m not bringing fancy pants clothes.

Just taking a general poll here, but how many Q-tips is too many to bring on a 2 week vacation? And underpants? How many is too few? Eh, as long as I bring my passport and Travel Scrabble I should be okay.